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In my previous article Clues, I shared the life lessons I learnt while on a hike to a scenic part of my country. Well, this week there’s no difference. 

Twas a cold cold morning on 30th March. I stretched and eagerly looked forward to the great outdoors. I could tell it was a day I will never forget. (we have a lot of those nowadays…don’t we?). Ok, end of composition, let me get cracking! 

This particular day had us heading to a diatomite mine in an area that is known for its coldness. So of course, as the wardrobe would dictate, warm gear was donned. Have you ever travelled with people who say “It’s not far, it’s just here”. Well, ‘just here’ turned out to be almost 1 hour and some minutes!. …I will revisit this phrase somewhere later in this article…. Anyway, the sights of daily life provided for an interesting road experience.

Let me cut the story short and just say, we reached and started hiking. And as we all know, hiking has various mental stages. Let me attempt to outline them, and to also infuse the life lessons I gained along the way.

Phase 1 – the scheduling.

Oh this is full of excitement. A ton of research about the destination, because really, we all want a great photo for memories, right? Right. This stage is also riddled with a lot of self-questioning such as – Will I really make it through? – Is it really worth all the tiredness I foresee? – Will I make a friend? – Will it be fun? …and of course, – what snacks will I carry? 

In life, we also have this phase of questioning, and it is in this phase where you see the first glimpse of yourself. Are you a go-getter? Do you encourage yourself? Do you have a plan for the people you will meet along the way? Do you walk in blindly to any situation and hope that it will all work out? 

Phase 2 – the commitment

This one is filled with some trepidation. When I commit, I’ll have to show up and follow through. After all, cancelling is quite costly.

In life, once you are done with the scheduling, you enter the commitment phase whereby you have to either do it with money or psychologically. Whatever the situation may be, once you commit, you feel the push to follow through. After all, who doesn’t like ticking the bucket list they have for their lives?

Phase 3 – the actual hike

This one has its own mini-phases!

You start the hike full of hope and trust in the gear you have invested in. Full of excitement because you are among like-minded individuals. Full of stories because you are getting to know each other.

As the hike continues, you enter the phase of taking photos, because, who knows when you’ll return here? Poses galore. Mini outdoor studios all over – on rocks, grass, next to trees and so on. At this phase, all you feel is happiness – especially when the camera captures your good side!

Here comes the silent phase. – Exactly how far is this place we’re going to? – There’s no shortcut? – Why are there so many rocks on the ground? – Why is it so hot?

This phase ends when you reach your destination and have as many photos as your tested body can allow.

Therein loads the toughest of all. You are too far to go back and too far from the finish line. You dig into your reserves of resilience. They threaten to run low. Humming a song in your head doesn’t help. You look around and you can only lean on the motivation from the fellow hikers. Some keep saying ‘It’s not far, it’s just here’…and that was 2 hours ago! You bow and resolve to finish what you have started.

The light at the end of the tunnel shines brighter. Climbing a vehicle has never felt so exciting. You have achieved your goal of the day. Your feet are screaming and you can hear your little toenail whispering – I’m sorry I tried to hang on, but I will grow again!.

The actual hike mirrors the journey of our lives. We rely on our preparations to see us through our various commitments. Sometimes we don’t always succeed, but we know our goal and we therefore push on. When you feel like taking short-cuts, when you wonder why you are so alone, do you reach out to your friends who are just there waiting for you to ask for help? Do you appreciate those who hold your hand and guide you- reminding you of the bigger goal? Do you hold onto Him? He is the best cushion of all.

Phase 4 – reflection.

I can’t believe I did it! What’s the next goal? 

Life is like that isn’t it? When you have achieved your goal, the memories of the suffering subside and your mind is full of celebration. You already start planning for your next conquest, after all, who pays heed to their suffering when their goal has been achieved?

As you read the 4 phases, were you able to identify where you were? Lean on your like-minded friends. ‘It’s not far, it’s just here’.

I finish this article with an acronym. H.I.K.E

Happiness

Is

Kindred

Energy

…Onto the next conquest!

 

Hello and happy new year!…I’ll keep this short…and hopefully sweet-ish.

Last year was a year of growth. Personal growth. Some of it was on purpose, while other times, it was a baptism of fire. However, to repeat the famous line, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’…and I can truly say I developed some mental and psychological muscle from the year that was.

While we are still in the year that was, it popped in my mind how names and their meaning come about. Let me take you on a journey…!

I have a colleague whom we used to chat a lot with during the covid-19 lockdown. All news items had the word ‘quarantine’…and as humor would have it, we started calling each other ‘Quarantina’ to make light of the situation that was enough to drive anyone cuckoo. As you can imagine, the name stuck! (Cheers to you Quarantina!). And last year it was used quite a few times.

Recently, the word ‘procrastination’ has been heavy in my vocabulary. Do you see where I am going with this? Yes! The name derived from it is ‘Procrastina’. This time round, my colleague isn’t there to add humor to it. But such is providence, because being ‘Procrastina’, has no humor. We all know that procrastination doesn’t bear any fruit. It does not allow you to acquire any skills whatsoever. It is only a temporary comfort. Perhaps the only upside is that you save today’s unused energy for tomorrow…because, who knows? Let me try some poetry.

The land of tomorrow holds such promise.

It is the home of many dreams

It is the home of ‘will be’

…Tomorrow I will wake up early…

…Tomorrow I will finish reading the book I started last year…

…Tomorrow I will catch up with my long lost friend…

…Tomorrow I will start building my relationship with God…

…and my personal favorite!…Tomorrow I will practice for 2 hours…

I could keep going…perhaps tomorrow!

We all have the same 24 hours available to us. Some of us seem to have an extra 3 hours, perhaps because of all they are achieving. We lose so much when we procrastinate. But you are only aware of this at a time when there is no tomorrow.

Reach out to that friend…

Practice your craft daily…

Don’t put off things for tomorrow…

Get healthy today…

….etc…

 

If you are ‘Procrastina’, please become ‘Promptina’.

 

Some weeks ago I had the pleasure of learning a new skill…or I should say, I tried to learn a new skill! 

Skating had always been on my bucket-list and ticking it was such an achievement…small but quite exciting. On the rink, on the wheels, I have never felt so out of control. Apparently the movement of the wheels can be controlled by the skater, but to a beginner, they seem to have a mind of their own. As I toddled on, my teacher kept saying, “If you forget everything, just remember to reach for your knees when you feel yourself falling”. I took this to mean that ‘reaching for my knees’ meant finding stability. Something to hang onto when all else is out of your control. Simple, right? Reaching for the knees seemed like such an unnatural thing to do, because when you feel yourself falling, your arms flail around hoping to break the fall. At least mine do…

Let me get to my point. But before that, yes I fell.

I go back to what my teacher said….’reach for your knees when you feel yourself falling’. That phrase has stayed on my mind because it occurred to me how it can work in just about all scenarios we live through. Let me try to expound.

Sample scenario

You have gone to class because learning never stops. Right? In walks the teacher and all you hear is gibberish instead of the new language you hope to learn. You start to panic and question your existence on this planet. Once the panic subsides, you feel yourself becoming more receptive to the class.

How did the panic subside? I believe it’s because you ‘reached for your knees’. You realised that you could easily translate what was being taught to a language you could process until you are ready to converse without translation.

Making sense?

What do you do when you are ‘reaching for your knees’? How do you find stability in the chaos?

“The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest.” 

– Attributed to Albert Einstein.

Today I will be a little technical…and then I will say why. On my current reading list is ‘The Psychology of money’. It highlights that our interactions with money are a behavioral thing based on our past experiences. We all know that our perceptions have a big impact on all our experiences. It is in this book that I was reminded of compounding – in simple terms – Compounding is the repeated addition of interest payments to the principal invested over a period of time. The principal grows exponentially as each new payment of interest is added to it (Investopedia).

As I was reading this, it occurred to me that compounding not only relates to money, but also relates to all other areas in our lives. Do you smell a superimposition? I do! I’ll keep it brief. We have bank accounts or piggy banks or m-banks in our phones…at least I hope so!

Interpersonal relationships – The different relationships we have with each other, operate on the same principle of compounding. We hold a proverbial bank account with each person we often interact with. Every positive thing we do, whether small or big, is a deposit into that account, and every negative thing that we do, whether small or big, is a withdrawal from that account. 

Have you ever encountered a person who just seems to drain you and doesn’t seem keen on making a deposit into the proverbial bank account? These people are often referred to as takers. All they do is take…take…take. Don’t get me wrong…taking is not bad…but you have to balance with the giving. If the scale is skewed heavily on the giving, the two people in the relationship will not encounter an overdrawn account. 

Giving does not have to be financial…it can be anything from support, time, love, warmth etc…Are you still following? When we ensure that we don’t have overdrawn interpersonal accounts, we are able to solve disputes, grow and heal together. 

Just as an account can be overdrawn to the point of closure, so too are the interpersonal relationships we have.

I promised to keep it brief, so I will stop there with some thoughts.

Do you have any ‘account’ that is on the verge of being overdrawn? Make a deposit.

Do you have any ‘account’ that is running on empty? Perhaps you need to close it.

Do you have any ‘account’ that has the potential to grow? Perhaps you need to open it!

Have a compounding week.

 

It has been a while since I last used an acronym. It has also been a long while since my last muse. This acronym came to me at a moment where I realized my reaction to a certain situation was not making sense. It transported me to a recent past moment that I’m just getting over. I hear the question coming…so what’s the acronym?

W.H.Y. 

What

Happened

Yesterday?

The lessons of yesterday help to shape our today and tomorrow. If you were to trip on an unevenly paved path yesterday, I’m sure that today you wouldn’t be caught by surprise.

How often do you allow your yesterday to shape your today? Of course there are positives and negatives to each story. Today I’ll focus on the negative, so that I shed more light on the origins of the acronym.

The hurts of yesterday…the let-downs…the doubts…the unanswered questions…of yesterday, can cause one to lash out or overreact to seemingly tiny things. How well do you know yourself to realize when it happens? 

Because I love stories, let me attempt a borrowed one.

Potatoes, Eggs, and Coffee Beans

Once upon a time a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn’t know how she was going to make it. She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot, and ground coffee beans in the third pot.

He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter. The daughter moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing.

After twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup. Turning to her he asked. “Daughter, what do you see?”

“Potatoes, eggs, and coffee,” she hastily replied.

“Look closer,” he said, “and touch the potatoes.” She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.

“Father, what does this mean?” she asked.

He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each faced the same adversity– the boiling water.

However, each one reacted differently.

The potato went in strong, hard, and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak.

The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.

“Which are you,” he asked his daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean? “

Moral: In life, things happen around us, things happen to us, but the only thing that truly matters is what happens within us.

Which one are you?

*****

So what does the story have to do with the beginning of the muse? Well, everywhere we look, we see opportunities to either be an egg, potato or coffee bean.

The boiling water of yesterday, could have made a potato of you. It could have also made an egg of you…seemingly unchanged on the outside but hard on the inside. However, in the boiling water of today, you have the option of being the coffee bean. Stronger and better with each rising degree of heat.  

The hurts of yesterday, can make you love better tomorrow.

The let-downs of yesterday, can make you stand stronger tomorrow. 

So, W.H.Y?

 “The first move toward mastery is always inward – learning who you really are and reconnecting with that innate force” – Robert Greene

This was the ending of last week’s article where I spoke of how a certain performance touched the depths of my soul. What stood out for me above all were two things; the musicians mastery of both instrument and self.

As I sat in the audience, it was enthralling to watch how the instruments were manipulated and all the while, the performers’ composure remained steady. It was even more enthralling to watch and listen to how the audience became engaged as a result of this. Yes I am getting to my point for this week. MASTERY.

Mastering to the point of simplicity (I know I sound like a broken record!)

Mastering to the point of happiness.

Mastering to the point of purpose.

I will keep it short this week.

Recipe for mastery.

1 pinch of awareness

2 bales of discipline

4 bales of persistence

8 bales of practice.

1 pinch of interest

A sprinkle of mentors to your taste.

I am no expert. I’m sure there’s more that can be added to this list. However, observing those who appear to have mastered an aspect of their lives, allows me to put together what I think would be the minimum required for each person on the quest to scale MASTERY.

I am a master.

I am waiting for you to look within to find me.

I reside in you, however, I do get lost in all that is within you.

Allow me to grow.

Allow me to break out of your shell.

Allow me to let you shine.

Dear reader,

I challenge you. I challenge me.

“Become who you are by learning who you are.”
― Robert Greene,  

Who knew that a musical performance could lead down this road!