School of Life

This excerpt is from page 93 of Will Smith’s biography ‘Will’. A very well written biography!

“There is a Buddhist parable that has guided me through many a perilous transition. 

A man is standing on the banks of a treacherous, raging river. It’s rainy season – if he can’t get to the other side, he’s done. He quickly builds a raft and uses it to safely cross the river. In joyous relief, he high-fives himself, lifts the raft, and heads toward the forest.

But as he attempts to make his way through the dense tree cover, the raft is banging and knocking into trees and becoming entangled in vines, preventing him from moving forward. He only has one chance for survival: He must leave the raft behind – the vessel that saved his life yesterday is the same one that will kill him today if he does not let it go.

The raft represents our outmoded ideas and old ways of thinking that no longer serve us. For example, the same angry, aggressive persona you cultivated as a child to protect yourself from bullies and predators will now destroy every relationship you have if you’re unwilling to let it go. Things can be perfectly useful and absolutely necessary during certain periods of our lives. But a time will come when we must put them aside or die.

Simply put, if we don’t adapt, we become extinct.”

This excerpt stood out today because the thought of resistance to change has been running through my head for quite a long time. It is natural and quite normal to be resistant to change. The ‘unknown’ is and will always be a mystery. Let me try to elaborate with some examples from the ‘School of Life’.

When you’re brought up in a household that has special seats for each member of the family, you will find it difficult to adapt when you grow your own family with a spouse who is used to a different set-up. However, have you asked yourself why you might be resisting the change? Is it because you’re afraid of what owning your decisions will result in? In the excerpt above, the man realized that it was time to let go of the raft that once helped him, because it no longer served its purpose. Perhaps having special seats for each member of the family has outlived its usefulness!

When you go to a driving school today, you’re taught how to move slowly and forward. On a lucky day, you will reverse…hopefully in a straight line! When you leave the driving school however, you quickly realize that driving slowly and forward won’t always be applicable, especially without someone else guiding your decisions. A perfect example is when you are caught in traffic on a hill. This lesson has yet to appear…and there you are…smack in the middle of it! Will you realize that you need to re-learn how to drive? Will you realize that you need to adapt and let go of the ‘raft’ in order to progress?

When you were taught how to cook, you grew up to realize that cooking was an artform and possibly that achieving the round shape of ‘chapati’ is a skill that required practice! However, when you don’t achieve the shape the first time round, do you examine your technique to determine what has happened? Do you try to change the pressure points on the rolling pin? Do you try to change the rolling surface? Or do you blame the person who taught you how to cook? Do you call them and demand for a lesson on shapes? Or do you change your mindset and grow into the art of successfully making round chapatis? Do you adapt and let go of the ‘raft’?

The decisions you made yesterday/yesteryear, might not help you today or tomorrow. 

What worked today, might not work tomorrow.

Learn when to let go of the ‘raft’.