-
Magic
Many times I have read interviews and seen questions whose purpose is to shed more light. It got me thinking…read on…
Interviewer: Tell me a little about yourself.
Me: I am Nj. A daughter, sister and friend.
(Why do we start with our name?)
“There is power in a name. It is through names that we bring all things into this world, and when they leave, it is names we carry with us, so they are never truly gone.”
― Justin Cronin
Interviewer: When was the last time you did something fun?
Me: ….?
(Why do we become rattled when routine is not followed? Perhaps you expected the second question to be, Where do you work? Or What do you do for a living?)
“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.”
― Mike Murdoch
Routine can be a strength and weakness. Routine helps us and others predict what is going to come next and allow us room for focusing on growth, for example, if the morning routine is – wake up, shower, brush teeth, take a cup of coffee, read for 20 minutes, jog for 1 hour – we do not have to engage our brains trying to think up things to do, and thus use that energy for something else. Perhaps, during the 20 minutes read, we can be struck by inspiration because of the level of engagement we have with the reading material. Perhaps while drinking the coffee, we get to taste the goodness of the berry. Perhaps during the morning jog, we get to feel every muscle and appreciate the marvel of the human body.
“Be spontaneous, never be afraid to try new things or find new ways. Don’t let over-planning and routine poison your life.”
― Mouloud Benzadi
We do not plan with the birds when they will sing their greatest song.
We do not plan with the sun when it will rise.
We do not plan with the skies what colours they will paint at sunset.
But at those moments, magic is seen and felt.
― Muse with Nj
Interviewer: What would you like to say as a parting shot to your readers?
Me: Routine is a good thing, however, magic is not planned.
Reading is an excellent thing, however, inspiration is not scheduled.
Be open to experience, and have a routine that has room for spontaneity.
Interviewer: Thank you.
Me: Karibu sana! (Most welcome!)
-
Morrow.
You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today – Abraham Lincoln
Tomorrow. A beautiful word. Holds such promise.
Tomorrow. A magical land where all seems possible. A land full of quests.
Tomorrow. A rich world. Fertile. Ready to grow anything that is planted.
Tomorrow. A land of entrapment. A land of promises yet to be fulfilled.
Tomorrow. An abyss. A bottomless pit.
Tomorrow. An unknown.
I need to write that book – Perhaps I’ll start tomorrow.
I need to make some health goals – I’ll do it tomorrow.
I need to make time to read – I’ll make a schedule tomorrow.
I will need to call my friend to catch up on life – I’m busy today. Tomorrow is a perfect day.
I need to plan for a holiday – I’ll be freer tomorrow.
I continue? I’ll add it to tomorrow’s schedule…
My dear readers, I’m not talking about procrastination. I’ll do that tomorrow.
There lives a story about tomorrow. It will be written…tomorrow. (Muse with Nj)
-
Blink ‘n grow.
Deliberately short.
This writer is having a writer’s block. There are many ways of going through this phase. Let me try to elaborate in point form.
- Go for a holiday – this is a perfect inspiration, yes? The answer to all problems? Yes!
- Write about anything – another excellent escape…because filling pages with words is the goal..yes? (read with sarcasm please).
- Wallow – oh yes! Because why not? The world is hard enough without adding other problems to it! (read with more sarcasm).
- Grow through the silence. Now this is where we can sit on a bench and chew the fat! In Be-leaf I spoke of a leaf going through many seasons. Sometimes green, sometimes not.
Grow through it all and Be-leaf
-
School of Life
This excerpt is from page 93 of Will Smith’s biography ‘Will’. A very well written biography!
“There is a Buddhist parable that has guided me through many a perilous transition.
A man is standing on the banks of a treacherous, raging river. It’s rainy season – if he can’t get to the other side, he’s done. He quickly builds a raft and uses it to safely cross the river. In joyous relief, he high-fives himself, lifts the raft, and heads toward the forest.
But as he attempts to make his way through the dense tree cover, the raft is banging and knocking into trees and becoming entangled in vines, preventing him from moving forward. He only has one chance for survival: He must leave the raft behind – the vessel that saved his life yesterday is the same one that will kill him today if he does not let it go.
The raft represents our outmoded ideas and old ways of thinking that no longer serve us. For example, the same angry, aggressive persona you cultivated as a child to protect yourself from bullies and predators will now destroy every relationship you have if you’re unwilling to let it go. Things can be perfectly useful and absolutely necessary during certain periods of our lives. But a time will come when we must put them aside or die.
Simply put, if we don’t adapt, we become extinct.”
This excerpt stood out today because the thought of resistance to change has been running through my head for quite a long time. It is natural and quite normal to be resistant to change. The ‘unknown’ is and will always be a mystery. Let me try to elaborate with some examples from the ‘School of Life’.
When you’re brought up in a household that has special seats for each member of the family, you will find it difficult to adapt when you grow your own family with a spouse who is used to a different set-up. However, have you asked yourself why you might be resisting the change? Is it because you’re afraid of what owning your decisions will result in? In the excerpt above, the man realized that it was time to let go of the raft that once helped him, because it no longer served its purpose. Perhaps having special seats for each member of the family has outlived its usefulness!
When you go to a driving school today, you’re taught how to move slowly and forward. On a lucky day, you will reverse…hopefully in a straight line! When you leave the driving school however, you quickly realize that driving slowly and forward won’t always be applicable, especially without someone else guiding your decisions. A perfect example is when you are caught in traffic on a hill. This lesson has yet to appear…and there you are…smack in the middle of it! Will you realize that you need to re-learn how to drive? Will you realize that you need to adapt and let go of the ‘raft’ in order to progress?
When you were taught how to cook, you grew up to realize that cooking was an artform and possibly that achieving the round shape of ‘chapati’ is a skill that required practice! However, when you don’t achieve the shape the first time round, do you examine your technique to determine what has happened? Do you try to change the pressure points on the rolling pin? Do you try to change the rolling surface? Or do you blame the person who taught you how to cook? Do you call them and demand for a lesson on shapes? Or do you change your mindset and grow into the art of successfully making round chapatis? Do you adapt and let go of the ‘raft’?
The decisions you made yesterday/yesteryear, might not help you today or tomorrow.
What worked today, might not work tomorrow.
Learn when to let go of the ‘raft’.
-
LISTEN
Poetry time!
I am you.
I ask that you hear and listen to what I’m trying to tell you.
I have no mouth, but our connection is strong.
If only.
I am you.
When you wake at night, I’m right there.
Sometimes I wake you, other times, not.
I may have no mouth, but…
If only.
I am you.
As you sit in comfort, and listen to the never-ending drone of the world.
Sometimes I need you to help me, sometimes not.
I may have no mouth, but…
If only.
I am you. You are me. And we are us.
I thought of this short poem as I sat on the passenger seat of a car, which is a very rare occurrence! It occurred to me that the same way we are drivers of our vehicles, our bodies are our drivers. Both of these send signals when it’s time to review our practices. Perhaps your head hurts to signal that something is wrong with your system. Perhaps your joints hurt to tell you about your diet or posture. Perhaps you feel sleepy because your body is signaling a system shut down. Perhaps your cravings are telling you that there is an imbalance in your body.
Let’s think outside of our physical selves. Perhaps the inertia in your life is signaling a need for change. Perhaps the unhappiness is signaling a need to re-evaluate your choices. On the flip side, perhaps happiness is a signal that you are on the right track. Perhaps your success is signaling that you are doing something right.
Let me keep it short and ask, do you listen for signals? Or you are too busy to even try?
No acronyms this week. Just LISTEN.
-
H.E.A.R.T.S
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
We know the ‘heart’ as an organ in our bodies. We also know ‘heart’ to mean the innermost part of something. I began the year with acronyms and it’s been a great journey. If it sounds like the end of them, it is not. It is just a break. Let me attempt to make the last acronym before taking the break.
Happiness
Endears
And
Renders
True
Success
This implies that happiness is at the heart of everything we do. I am yet to meet someone who is motivated by unhappiness. I am yet to find someone who is not searching for some form of happiness. We search for it at the bottom of a glass, on top of a mountain, beside the one we love, at the check-out counter and in the intricate melodies woven by musicians.
We have heard that in the search for happiness, we experience it only if we are aware of living in the present… ‘it’s the journey and not the destination that matters’….and whatnot.
“Wherever you go…go with all your heart.”
―Confucius
I am right there, waiting for you to acknowledge me
I am right there, if only you could turn a little
I am right there, if only.
If only.
Does your heart skip a beat with the anticipation of what is to come?
Does your heart skip a beat when the thought of your loved one crosses your mind?
Does it skip a beat with the anticipation of another tomorrow?
Does it skip with the thought of….‘what if’?
Today’s thoughts have morphed into those of ‘happiness’. Let me close with more questions…
What or who is at the heart of everything you do?
What or who is your home base?
What or who is your heart?
“Pursue what catches your heart, not what catches your eyes.”
― Roy T. Bennett
H.E.A.R.T.S
-
S.M.A.L.L
Short read alert.
I am in the middle of a book called ‘Tiny Habits’ by BJ Fogg. Literally in the middle…but let’s move on. This book makes it easy to break down any task into bite-size pieces that enable one to grow habits that would otherwise be difficult to do. An example of this would be, the popular January resolution that has multitudes of people joining Gyms and hitting the road with all manner of gadgets strapped to their persons. Yes you have it. WEIGHT LOSS. If someone wants to lose weight, the best way to turn it into a long lasting habit is to start small, for example, instead of overhauling your entire fridge and getting rid of the oh so tasty snacks, perhaps the best way would be to remove the snacks from your sight and start by changing your meals by adding healthy items. Example, eat an apple in addition to your usual breakfast. That’s not hard to do, is it? You can pick your fruit of choice. Another example, put a bottle of water in full view at your desk, in your bag, next to your bed…you get the point….and you will eventually increase your water intake.
I sat down to think a little and this was my conclusion. Let me give a personal example…In the process of honing my craft, I am required to dedicate at least 2 hours to see the results I want. However, after a torturous month, I finally acknowledged that it was a huge chunk of time which I could not have in one block. So I modified it to include – learning through others (video tutorials and whatnot – these I could do if I sacrificed 5 minutes of my lunch break) and learning to forgive myself if I do not manage to dedicate the full two hours – however, I have learnt to enjoy the sessions – and suddenly, two hours are not so much!
What is that thing that you want to do but seems too big to do? Break it down.
What is that habit that you can’t get rid of? Break it down.
What is that goal that you want to achieve but seems insurmountable? Break it down.
Break it down.
Simple
Modifications
Allow
Longterm
Lucrativeness
-
T.I.R.E.D
I’ll go straight to the short point. Today’s acronym is a double edged sword. T.I.R.E.D
To
Improve
Requires
Endless
Dedication
In other articles, I have usually hinted that we are a ‘work in progress’. Our task is never finished. We cannot say that we have reached the pinnacle of self improvement and growth. On that journey, getting tired is expected. And that is what prompted this article today. However, the acronym sheds a positive light to it all.
Yesterday started on the same usual note. Early morning peace and quiet, surrounded by birds belting out harmonious melodies. However, as the day wore on, stress, anxiety and despair started building upon each other…much like the building blocks used by tiny tots. It reached a point where all I could see was a long dark tunnel with no light at the end. I did what I could. I ran and googled my symptoms. Apparently it was an existential crisis!
What’s the point of the short story? We all have tasks that we have undertaken with the belief that they are beneficial – such as higher education, constructive hobbies and many other projects. Getting tired is a given. Getting to the end of the tether is a given. Seeing a dark tunnel is a given. What do we do when it happens? Throw in the towel? Revert to the comfort zone? Deny that you are tired and keep going until burnout? Balance?
Of the double edged sword, the ultimate choice is yours.
Tired or T.I.R.E.D?
-
T.I.M.E
Dear Readers,
As I pen this letter, I’d like to warn you that it is short. Today we are on a journey. Albeit a short one. A journey that could be magical or informative, or both, or neither!
The year began as most year’s do. Complaints of how long the month is, its never-ending challenges and whatnot. However, this year has taken a pleasant turn. It’s not unbearably hot and the days are flying by.
I would like to believe that you have been of good health both physically and mentally.
Let me get to my point for this week. Part of the reason for my silence has been that I’ve been keenly observing the passage of time. Not ‘time’ as you know it. But ‘T.I.M.E’. Yes it is my first acronym of the year.
To
Improve
Means
Effort
T.I.M.E in personal and spiritual growth, in professional and interpersonal growth. How many times have we used the phrases ‘give yourself time’, ‘time heals’, ‘It will happen with time’ and so forth?
Time has the uncanny ability to slow down when we are bored, and to speed up when we are having fun. Perhaps that’s another article for another day. Let me get back on track.
When we are hungry, we are laser-focused on nourishment. When we are ambitious, we are laser-focused on a better tomorrow. In the midst of that laser-focus, we encounter doubts. In ‘Think again’, Adam Grant mentions the benefits of doubt. And I quote… “When you find yourself doubting your ability, reframe the situation as an opportunity for growth. Knowing what you don’t know is often the first step towards developing expertise”. Doubt is not such a bad thing after all, is it?
In your journey of improvement and growth, allow yourself to stop and think. Allow yourself time and remember T.I.M.E.
Yours faithfully,
Nj
-
Reboot
“To be or not to be, that is the question” (William Shakespeare)
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible!’” (Audrey Hepburn)
We often begin the year with such inspirational quotes. A lot of hope rests in a new beginning. A chance to wipe the slate clean. I am yet to go a whole month without hearing the question ‘So what’s your new year’s resolution?’
This week’s article is a continuation of Chef my Omelette where I urged you to be aware of the things that you needed in your kitchen to cook a simple happy life for yourself. I also promised that I would attempt to give tips on mental health. Let me try in my ‘non-expert’ fashion.
A new year = the promise of a new body. True or false? If you have not done anything throughout the previous year to attain your new body, then the new year has other plans for you. What I’m trying to say is, if you aren’t intentional in what you do throughout the year, there’s no need to put pressure on attaining all of it in one month. Part of a healthy mental life is having a healthy physical life. You were made to move. You were made to improve. Your body is capable of much more than you allow it to do. Disclaimer, be wise and conscious of the need for medical guidance in this world of physical activity.
A new year = a new me. True or false? We are always changing. No need to put pressure on one month. Yes you can take decisive action in the new year, however, that decisive action has to be repeated in the following 11 months. Taking some time to know and grow yourself is important. I believe that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Therefore, you must ask yourself, what is it that fills your cup? You will be much happier when you look after yourself. Fill your cup!
A new year = new friends. This holds true for the whole year and not just one month. You need to constantly evaluate your circles. When growing up, we are always told ‘choose your friends wisely’. As a child, you see it to be a nuisance. As you grow however, you discover the wisdom in that nugget.
The new year offers a time for reboot, however, it also offers a time for repeat.
Let me stop here before I add a few more quotes! There is so much more that can be said, however, I hope I have captured what I think is the core.
So, is it a reboot or a repeat?
